WizNotes

Of note:
The Atlanta Journal Constitution ran a preview of the Eastern Conference, dividing into teams that have improved and those that stood pat. The Wizards get nary a mention. But -- before Ollie goes on a Rooster Rampage -- we should all chillax and get our stealth on. Had we not gotten hit with injuries last year, we'd have been a top-3 seed in the East. #1 record at the break, even with the terrible start. This year Gil won't get all gotta pump iron till the break of day before the opener and we'll hit the ground running. I just wish he'd brag not about how many jump shots he's hitting during the summer, but how much defense he's practicing. The scoring needs to be more balanced, with Daniels, Young, Pech, DMac having big games occasionally to offset the reliance on the Big Three. 50+ Wins

- Interesting to see how protected the draft pick from the Grizzlies is. If we get it next year we can do one of three things -

1) dish off to someone w/ a side helping of Etan Thomas, freeing up money for a big free agent signing.
Big free agent market next year. But the player who best fits the needs of the Wiz is F/C Elton Brand. A 20/10 low post player who is also a good citizen, but who unfortunately just tore his achilles/out 6 months. He has a player option to get out of his contract. Some speculation he wouldn't opt out after an injured season, but big men get big money all the time.

2) Use both picks in a trade for an established player. Not sure what kind of player would both fit us and a team would be willing to give up. Less likely, methinks.

3) Use both picks -- lots of F/C coming out next year. Kevin Love? Darrell Arthur? Michael Beasley? Hibbert? DeAndre Jordan? All seem to have the potential to help the Wiz. Soem of these will be taken higher than either pick, but some will be available 15-25. But, they'd be young when the rest of the team is in its prime.

- A Spanish fan touting Navarro's impact on the NBA (and the Wizard's loss) on the messageboards cited a Navarro highlight reel on Youtube as proof of La Bomba's skillz. The rebuttal came when another fan linked to another bit of Youtubery, this time a very funny clip of Navarro getting absolutely shut down by a fringe NBA player guarding him in a Spanish league game. Both are worth checking out. I'm going to trust Grunfeld's instincts on this one.

B. Lloyd B. Lame

I learned from Dan Steinberg this week that Redskin Brandon Lloyd has songs posted on his MySpace page. They include the hip-hop ditties "I Get the Chedda" and "Bad Child."
The aspiring musician has inspired me to write my own rap song, appropriately titled ...

"Catch the Ball 85!"

(Intro: generic Casio beat, sound effects from "The Longest Yard," a brief cornet melody, DMX-style shout chorus)

You singin' about chedda, but makin' TDs would be betta,
Smash yo helmet on the ground, Gangsta Gibbs sure ain't down,

Catch the ball 85, catch the ball 85!

23-for-57, your numbers stink to heaven,
Now you're No. 3, is Randle El all we need?

Catch the ball 85, catch the ball 85!

Back to Frisco, you're stale as Nabisco,
Here's a napkin man 'cause you got butter in your hands

Please add verses as needed during the season.

Notes ands Arrested Development Jokes

"Baby" friend/ 12th level Bogmaster Dan Steinberg attempts to answer Lil Bro's burning question. The definitive answer is: maybe? Steinzz seems to have a bit of a subjective stance on the issue.

Also, Andray Blatche pulled a Hugh Grant. Oops. At least he'll take that 5 yr $12 mil deal without a hassle now... Word is his solicitation was almost as awkward as George Michael from Arrested Development. Don't even ask what he wanted to do with his chocolate covered banana.

Oh, and apparently we have a baseball team now. Who knew? I'm a little surprised nobody's mentioned it before.

Suggested questions for George Michael's chat tomorrow, on washingtonpost.com @ 12:30. (and let's face it...that kid is and always and only will be, George Michael Bluth...even after his third DUI):

How many pairs of pleated khakis do you own? The over/under is set at 150.

How long did you have to study for your role as an awkward high school student in your upcoming movie Superbad? 10, 15 seconds?

I supported your previous campaign, and was crestfallen when you didn't win. Do you plan on challenging Steve Holt *STEVE HOLT* for the Class Presidency again? And where might I acquire some campaign literature?

Is Jason Campbell for real?

Luv this NFL Fantasy Football ad for Jason Campbell. Is it fake? I don't care.

RFK scam Part II

So Tony Robinson of the DC Sports & Entertainment Commission responded to my e-mail about the RFK parking scam. He promised corrective action. Excerpts are below:

Thank you for bringing this matter to our attention. I am forwarding your note to our General Council and the Manager for IMPARK, our parking services provider. ... Your experience is not the norm and it will not be tolerated. We will investigate this matter and will do whatever we can to remove whoever may be responsible for what is a patently illegal practice.

Frankly, I don't expect anyone to be fired. All I needed to do was vent. But if you do go to RFK and get hassled for a parking payoff, tell Tony.

Sumo sadness Part II

Asashoryu received his punsihment today -- he's banned from two tournaments and his salary was cut for four months. According to AFP, it was the most severe punishment on a grand champion of Sumo in 80 years.
As previously discussed, he perhaps deserved a slap on the wrist for his transgression (allegedly faking an injury to skip a charity tour), but his real crime here is being a foreigner.

Key Party, NBA GM Style

So the Garnett to Boston deal is official. Now the questions are, can a team with these three stars compliment each other enough to succeed despite the major flaws this team has, like:

1. No quality point guard. I like Rondo, but he's not ready to run this team, especially with three stars demanding the ball constantly. He's just not been in the league long enough, and doesn't even have his own game together yet. It'll take about 2.5 times of KG getting in his face for him to develop a stare longer than the Manchurian Candidate's.

2. No bench. Except for Tony Allen...who plays the exact same position as Ray Allen and Paul Pierce. This is where the Allen trade looks incredibly short-sighted, because the Celtics have traded away so many young players (and rightly so in the KG deal) that they'll have at most a 3-4 year window before they suck even worse than they have been the past couple of years. Who else is going to give them quality minutes to rest people? Scalabrine? Ben Pepper? The Allen trade is exposed even more for the desperation trade it was after this. Also, no bench, as we saw with the Wiz, means no margin for error in case of injury. One of these three guys goes down for any extended period and the C's are probably screwed.

3. Doc Rivers. The guy's mediocre at best. I give KG 6 weeks into Doc running picket fence plays for Scalabrine before he goes insane. KG's already got to be in a fragile mental state after 12 years of McHale. Now he has to deal with Rivers AND Ainge. Here's a mock-up of a possible mid-season headline.

BOSTON MASSACRE: NBA Star Garnett, Doc Rivers Neck, Snaps. 14 Dead after Ainge Signs George Mikan's Corpse to Six Year, $54 Mil. Deal

This whole crazy concoction of Danny Ainge's could actually work, but the margin for error and the short window this team will have makes it a major gamble.

What can, or should, the Wizards do to stay competitive in the East? If they're serious about trading Navarro to Memphis, and assume away on that, it'd be nice if they could get a cheap, young but ready to play big man who can run the floor and provide a defensive presence; whomever they may get need not score a lot.

However, because of their current cap situation, I don't think this can be a straight up deal; there needs to be some money moving from Washington's side to keep them under the cap (remember, they haven't signed JCN yet). This, I'm speculating, is the holdup in the Navarro to Memphis deal: Grunfeld might be trying to pawn off either Brenda or Etan on the Grizz to clear some room to make the trade and make next off-season easier. The only other option is to include a third team on the deal, but it seems as if Memphis is trying to keep their young talent (according to people actually in the know, they've declared Conley, Gay, and Lowry off-limits, and Gasol wouldn't make any sense as they want Navarro to team with Gasol). Warrick would kind of be nice, but they already have a 3-4 'tweener in 'Tawn, and Warrick isn't nearly as good defensively as he was in college. Then again, Caron wasn't supposed to be the solid defensive player that he generally is (except when he watches Gil and 'Tawn too much), so maybe Warrick can develop that part of his game just as he developed into a solid offensive threat this season (12.4 ppg...around what Navarro is supposed to bring to the table).

The other good thing about trading Navarro is that because so many teams have bad GMs who think they're close to a championship run, or who want to make a move solely to make a move (a la Jim Bowden in baseball...except last season) that chances are you'll at least get equal to better value than JCN is worth, even though Ernie's negotiating position is bad with this trade or back to Europe timetable and Navarro's desire to play elsewhere (dumbass). Given the number of teams and GMs that describes, I like Ernie's chances at getting a decent deal, if not a steal, done.

As for the soccer match Lil Bro and I attended last night, I have three words: Racial Tension, baby!