We Just Can't Catch A Break

I'm not going to comment (too) much on the Redskins perfection of the proverbial art of shooting one's self in the foot today. If not for the Patriots game, they'd be undefeated. They've beaten six teams this season. Five were opponents, but they've managed to beat themselves three times so far...and we're only 10 weeks into the season. Today's game was not about coaching; Gibbs, Saunders, and Williams did a great job gameplanning for the Eagles, and thoroughly outcoached Andy Reid from what saw. Buges did a great job on the offensive line, which had been offensive in more ways than one earlier this season (after being decimated by injuries). What the Redskins staff didn't know, however, was that Andy Reid had given access to his "Drug Emporium" to several of the Redskins' players (Chris Cooley, Ladell Betts, Casey Rabach, among others).

Meanwhile, the Wizards are pretty much embodying the above picture. Mike Wise, who despite past shots this blog has taken at him, is actually an excellent basketball writer, gave me a pretty good idea of how the season has gone so far in one column. I just wish he would stick to basketball and hilarious, mindblowing 'incites' into the personal lives of our favorite Redskins players, instead of writing "hard facts" Redskins columns that are written like he just got off the Amtrac train from New York and desperately wanted to fit in with the local sports scene by writing the safest, most obvious columns possible ("Wait, the Redskins have beloved old player doing their radio broadcasts? No way, I didn't know that!"). But hey, I'm trying to give the man his props, as Wilbon has said in the past, he really knows his stuff when he's talking hoops, and he's hit the 'Zards debacle of a season (so far) on the head. I agree (Ed. Despite the win today over a talented Hawks team) that they should shut Arenas down. He's not himself right now, and his knee is clearly hurting him. This is a situation where it's both in the team's interest and the player's to have him shut it down for at least a couple of weeks. If they can't win when he's toughing it out there's no point in not taking a more longterm perspective on the season and letting him rest up and come back at a later date. He won't like it because he's a baller/shotcaller and it's a contract year for him, but it's worth it for both parties in the long run. Arenas' next contract goes down anywhere from $500k to $1 mil everytime people see him hobbling off the court with his knee packaged more securely in ice than a transplant organ, so why not take a few weeks off and start dropping thirty or forty on people when you come back?

Sorry for getting serious for a minute, please accept this entertaining video evidence of how Rugby is much more manly a sport than Soccer, via Deadspin, as my apology. (Lil Bro, I know you have plenty of time to enjoy it....I expect an 800 word response by tomorrow).

Viva Los Futboleros

As for futbol, the U-20 World Cup Grout Stage match the US had against Brazil the other night was somewhere between the Miracle on Ice and a solid DC United win. When you think about US beating Brazil, it's pretty awesome; but when you think about the fact that this alos happened in 1989 and that group as a whole didn't end up making much of impact other than Alexei Lalas making more ridiculous claims than when the guy at my college who says he got a fullride to play polo at UVA but turned it down to pay an obscene amount of tuition at my small liberal arts college, Brian McBride (niiiiice), and Eric Wynalda (uhhhhh....), who also makes some really dumb claims abut U.S. soccer. And this Brazil team lost to U-20 soccer superpower South Korea sooooo, let's relish this as our young'uns outplaying a more talented team due to superior chemistry and coaching, and having some tremendous individual performances. Actually this deserves a bit of a breakdown, Dean's List style:

FREDDY ADU---Holy Crap, this guy had a helluva match, despite bitching WAY too much to the refs and other players (though the refs were mediocre and the Brazilians were taking some obvious cheap shots, like running into guys after a whistle...so it wasn't exactly unwarranted) though he is expected to do some of that as the captain for that match, which I was surprised-pleasantly, in the end-to see. He did a lot of the dirty work in creating both goals, ultimately setting both up, though he arguably committed a foul when he stole the ball on the first goal. But his move to get out of Brazil's (right?) corner past two defenders with good position on him to dribble around two other dudes and take a hard, quality shot whose rebound went straight to Altidore for an easy put in. I mean, he only juggled the ball over his head, past the Brazilian defender who was right on him, passing it to himself. Amazingly, ESPN didn't show a single replay of him doing this, just what happened after one of the sickest moves I've ever seen. If you consider yourself a U.S. soccer fan, or just a soccer fan in general, you have to see this goal, about 6:50 into this quality hihglight reel of the match:



I mean, as far as moves go, that was pure Cristiano Ronaldo, and really fucking sick. He also took some pretty good free kicks, though he over shot a few corners. Totally lived up to his potential in this match, great stuff. GPA: 4.3 A+

CHRIS SEITZ---Also, even though he gave up a goal, he made so many outstanding saves that he was easily as much of an impact player in this match as Adu. The defense for the U.S. wasn't too bad, it's just that they happened to be playing more of an offensive strategy with the wing defenders coming up more as midfielders. More on that later, but this dude was absolutely incredible. You could see he actually did a pretty good job of calming down that defense after some close calls and erasing just about every mistake made in front of him. After that performance, and even though it was a 'junior' Brazilian team, it had offensive talent that would already be starting on just about every other national team in the world, and they put together a LOT of quality attacks, most of which Seitz, a Maryland guy, stopped like Brad Friedel in the '02 World Cup. Dude did his best impression of Petr Cech throughtout this match. The Brazilian goalie had some great saves as well, but had less pressure put on him. The difference was the US finished better and Seitz played out of his mind. I'd definitely take him over the vastly overrated Kasey Keller and a struggling Tom Howard on the regular national team. Here's a quote about him, from the Brazilian coach, via Steven Goff's Soccer Insider blog: "Chris Seitz was huge in critical moments of the game, no doubt." GPA 4.3

THOMAS RONGEN---Solid strategy for this match, which to me looked a bit like the beautiful Argentinian deliberate passing method (I doubt they invented this, but it reminded me of a watered down version of their national team in this past World Cup) incorporated with an aggressive Dutch-esque total football, bringing up interchanging defenders and midfielders. The US U-20 team also has some obviously good chemistry, something the coach usually has something to do with, and they played about as hard as they possibly could, definitely something the coach has a lot to do with. If Bob Bradley doesn't work out, this guy deserves a shot. 4.0

JOZY ALTIDORE---Two goals, was in the right place/created the right situation for me at least a couple other times but couldn't finish. Obviously scoring twice is fantastic, though Adu deserves a lot of the credit for those put-ins. Still, Jozy looks to be part of a trend among young US players of being taller than the average Smurf. I'm really sick of the US bringing that put-it-in-the-mixer mentality to the World Cup when they clearly don't have a height advantage against a lot of European teams. Now it looks like the US is starting to have more and more guys who are taller, and Jozy is a part of that trend. He's only listed at 5'10'' on the US Soccer site, but he looks like he could be 6'1'', 6'2''. As Jay Bilas would say, dude's long. Maybe we can finally win some headers against teams like Germany or the Czech Republic. 3.7

SAL ZIZZO---This guy I have never heard of, like everybody on this list but Adu (who should start going by Fredito or Fredinho if he keeps playing like this), but it looked like Joe Cole was wearing his jersey the first half. Guy had some great on-ball possessiions, sick crossovers, and a quite little back pass once or twice. Looked like he faded some in the second half, but also looked to be playing more of a fundamental, passing role instead of trying to create for himself. Biggest thing he brought to the table though is that his name is S. Zizzo. I think we should change his name to Kingsley, and some red knit caps. Word is he quotes the Life Aquatic before every U-20s match. He is now my favorite soccer player, based almost entirely on his name (even if it is spelled differently, it's the pronunciation that counts, baby!). 3.0

ROBBIE ROGERS---And this is another solid name for a soccer player. He had a solid shot on goal that was the Brazilain goalies best save of the game. I think he did something else too. In the end, it's the alliteration that matters. 3.0

HONORABLE MENTIONS---Michael "Nepotism" Bradley, good job doing at the CDM position, Nathan Sturgis, probably the best defenseman for the US in this match, he was good down in our own box and played a bigger than usual offensive role with that aggressive gameplan.

_____ is the Most Pitiful Sportswriter in the Country (besides Greg Doyel and Jay Mariotti...but at least people have heard of them).

I hate to to post again so soon, as I already feel like I'm starting to dominate this blog (I don't really want to...but see the last five or six posts). HOWEVAH, I felt the need to comment on this, after being turned onto something by the DC Sports Bog that I take just a wee bit of issue with (as does D-Stein). Some guy who cbssportsline has been desperate enough for "opinions" to give a badly named column of poor quality, has written that DC is, "the most pitiful sports town in the country."

Really.

I don't want to make this as stupidly long as one of our draft wet dream fantasies, but pardon me while I spit some hot fire.

Now, I know dicks like this are just trying to get a rise out of fans like me who take this too seriously; they don't actually believe the nonsensical, retarded shit that comes out of their mouthes or, more likely, another orfice, they just want to raise their Q rating because they know when it comes to them writing with an actually feasible opinon, because, let's face it, most sports writers could be replaced by autistic monkeys and you couldn't find a difference in literary style. Hence, they only way most sports "journalists" can get noticed is by writing stuff that has no bearing and pisses people off, people, unfortunately, like me. This aside, let's delve into this little journalistic gem:

" As the flagship of the Washington area, there is no NFL franchise, of the ones 10 years or older, that is routinely more laughable than the Burgundy and Gold. Their owner is delusional, their management team misguided and their coaching staff unorganized."

How about the Lions, who have drafted four wide receivers with their first-round picks four out of the last five years despite having a wretched defense. But Calvin Johnson's going to be awesome enought o give them one of the best offenses in the league...quarterbacked by Jon Kitna. And Charlie Rogers and Mike Williams were "awesome" too...and yet, the Lions still suck, still have the worst GM in the (history of the?) NFL, and have still never won a championship. Neither have the Bengals, and I'd rather have a racially offensive nicknamed, overpaid and underperforming NFL team run by a raging asshole with the world's biggest Napoleon complex than root for a team that was called the "Bungles" for a decade and has about half the roster in a drunk tank/jail at any given time. And has never won a championship either. Oh, and Arizona should be a good team pretty soon...when we get Peace in the Middle East.

"Yeah, the XXVI win still brings that warm, fuzzy feeling, but that was so long ago in sports years that even Tony Kornheiser had hair back then."

Anyone who knows anything about Tony Kornheiser knows there are two things about hm that have never changed: He has NEVER had hair, and he has always been orange. And I'd still rather have that warm, fuzzy feeling from Superbowl XXVI (note: if you just write XXVI without the Superbowl, it makes no sense. It's exactly the same as me writing, "Yeah the 26 win was great." only in Roman numerals. It might not be a gramatical error or anything, but it just reeks of ignorance and poor syntax. Try writing less colloquially. Ass.

" In a sport valuing ballpark aesthetics and character nearly as much as the actual game on the field, the Nats play in a concrete hole in the ground that has as much charm as Mel Gibson three drinks deep at an Anti-Defamation League champagne brunch."

Uh, if you want people to think that you actually grew up in the DC area, you might actually appreciate that concrete (above) the ground. As much as everybody bitches about it, I went to a Nats game with six friends, one of whom actually is from Bethesda, the rest out of towners (all but one were from the South). None of them real sports fans, two of them were girls who couldn't care less about baseball and were just there to be amongst friends...all of them liked/loved RFK. And there were about 30-35,000 other people in the stands who felt similarly (this was the Friday night game against the Indians, one of the best teams in the AL, which the Nats won...just like they won the series). Also, you'd be a lot more credible as a "Washingtonian" if you didn't group DC together with Baltimore. No one in either city thinks the other city is the same, or desrve to be grouped as the same metro area (except Peter Angelos, but that's history now, thank God). It's like saying Oakland and San Fran are the same, LA and Anaheim are the same, you get the point. It's a dumb, telling statement that exposes you as either

A) A moron
B) A liar
C) Both

I'd like to believe C, but I have this bad feeling that it's only A, and you really are from the DC area. Congratulations, you brought the entire region down by your past residence here.

"Short-term prospects [for the Nats]: Putrid, considering half the team will be shipped out come late July"

Well, the first word is kind of accurate, although considering the massive drop in payroll, the fact that they're the same record as last year's "more talented" team suggests that they're not as craptastic as everyone likes to think. And if you mean Dmitri Young and Ronnie Belliard, and maybe Ray King, when you say half the team will be gone by late July, well, THAT would be a reasonable statement.

" While management's better than it's ever been with Big Ern Grunfeld calling the shots, the Wizards still haven't developed a big man of note since Gheorghe Muresan or found a point guard worthy enough to fill Rod Strickland's sneaks. Anybody ready for another try at the Brent Price era?"

Uh, have you watched the NBA since the late 90's? Last time I checked, Gilbert Arenas was averaging 28 ppg, and an NBA superstar. Oh yeah, he plays point guard too. Rod Strickland does average about 28 pounds of weeds smoked a year though.
If big men with growth stigmatisms are what you consider quality big men, go watch the Maryland NightHawks' Chinese freak show. And the only person allowed to call Grunfeld "Big Ern" is Mrs. Grunfeld.

"With Arenas talking of exodus and no fresh blood of note having been drafted over the past handful of years, the Wizards are at that "are we Kate Winslet or Katie Holmes" how-will-our-franchise-be-perceived conundrum."

Despite making everybody in DC nervous, Arenas' own blog says that he isn't going anywhere. Why don't you do an ounce of research sometime?

"The team does have the best fan-run basketball blog , so that's nice and all."

Wrong. Wizznutzz is not the best fan-run basketball blog. It's the BEST BLOG EVER.

I don't really care about hockey, so what you say about the Capitals doesn't really bother me, except for this:

"Ted Leonsis, easily D.C.'s best owner, is the man."

If annoying the hell out of anyone who's ever around him is being the man, count me in. He also gets in fights with fans. What's not to like? That AOL Time Warner merger deinitely went off without a hitch too.

" With college basketball's second- or third-hottest coach, Georgetown's back on the national scene. But with no extension imminent for John Thompson III, it's a nervous delight on the Hilltop.

We can always expect George Washington to come up for air every once and a while and make a little bit of noise, but to expect any consistency from Karl Hobbs' under-resourced program would be unrealistic.

Maryland has the resources, but can't seem to get into college basketball's elite, which is frustrating considering Duke's recent woes and the supposedly diluted ACC. Gary Williams is slowly becoming a basketball dinosaur."

All three of these paragraphs are worthless. JTIII is under contract for two more years, GW is the cream of its conference and will probably continue to be (as it has been for the past three seasons...consistently) as long as Karl Hobbs is there. And I remember the exact same "dinosaur" statement being said about Williams the same season he went to the Final Four for the first time. Also, I guess having two down years does erase the '01 Final Four, the '02 National Championship, and the '03 ACC Championship. Maybe I'm living in the past, but Maryland also was the second best team in the second best conference in the country last year (usually the first). Not ideal, but the first place team was a National Championship favorite (North Carolina). And Georgetown did go to the Final Four this past year. And they return everybody except Jeff Green, and are adding a couple of monster recruits to an already Top 10 team. Uhhhh....that seems like a pretty good indicator for the future.

True, college football in this area sucks, since the only real local I-A team is Maryland, a basketball/lacrosse/soccer school. I guess that makes Duke and North Carolina pitiful sports colleges too.

"Lacrosse is the Emanuel Lewis of D.C. sports. It's cute, everyone generally likes it, but those same people keep saying, "just wait until it gets bigger." They've been saying that since Webster was on the air. The sport ain't getting any bigger.

Soccer and women's basketball are novelties to Washingtonians, sort of like the few remaining healthy animals at the National Zoo."

I'm not a big lacrosse fan, but it is the fastest growing sport in the country (or the second behind soccer depending on what stats you look at). Also, going to college in the South, I know it's growing exponentially down there, as evidenced by numerous schools of varying size (including my 1500 student DIII school) adding lacrosse programs.

I'm not a women's basketball fan either, but I think it's insulting and arrogant to say that people in DC don't care about women's basketball, when the Mystics have consistently drawn the biggest crowds in thier joke of a league, Maryland won the women's national championship last year, and gets some pretty good sized crowds.

As for soccer, I think DC has one of the best, if not the best, fanbases not only for the MLS but also for USMNT. Anecdotelly I went to a dinner a few weekends ago where me and another guy (an acqauintance) were both consistently keeping tabs on the US team's match. It wasn't a Gold Cup match; it wasn't a friendly against Mexico or some other decent team/rival. It was a friendly against China, not exactly an A-List match. I know far more people, both in this area and down South, who care more about Thierry Henry going to FC Barcelona than people who care about Anaheim winning the Stanley Cup. The TV ratings for soccer vs. hockey, and the attendance numbers for the United vs. the Caps favor soccer...by a lot. 5,000 more fans per game to be specific (stat via DC Sports Bog, which I trust did research).

All in all, I spent way to much time with this, but it's nice to find a productive way to vent a little bit of pent up frustration. I don't like making this blog negative, but it seemed appropriate in this case. I never mentioned Douchebag X's name, either. And his book review in the Washingtonian sucked.

Arsenal now Undergoing Arms Embargo

This just crawled in through ESPNews, Thierry Henry, soccer's Tim Duncan, signs with FC Barcelona. That sound you're hearing is Nick Hornsby burning his manuscript of Fever Pitch and David Hirshey stepping in front of a bus.