Thursday, July 19, 2007
Let's Play Some Nats Mix and Match!
Count me among those who think Dmitri Young should be traded. Not because I don't like him or what he's done for the team, nor because I'm a vegan who's offended by his nickname, but because the Nats have a younger, better player at his position and the Nats, unbeknown to most who want to bring Dmitri back and keep Nick Johnson, are in the NL; they don't have a DH in the lineup, which is the only spot that would make sense for him, unless Jim Bowden chains him up in John Basedow's basement a la White Possum Scream. This way, along with the "South East Diet" of no Skittles, Meat Hook could lose 50 pounds and do a Manny Ramirez impression in left field. Only, as people forget, at a much less Filene's Basement price than the minor league contract he's playing for this season ($500K). It took me a while to actually think up a scenario of Nick Johnson and Dmitri Young playing in the field together. (Note: The Following is Not Realistic Nor Optimal...Which Means Jom Bowden will Probably Try It.) Dmitri Young plays first, Nick Johnson moves to third, Ryan Zimmerman plays short and Cristian Guzman plays 2nd, with Lopez getting traded for some (this is the part that "Stim Bowsten"(c) loves) PROSPECTS!!!!! Ladies and gentleman, this marvelous outside-the-box thinking is brought to you by severe boredom and some July heat, along with the Senate all-nighter two nights ago, which, as Senator Lindsey Graham so eloquently asked me at 6:50 in the morning (4-5 hours without caffeine, at which point the great deal of enthusiasm I had started the previous night with had worn off) while I was sitting in the spiderhole of a workspace that my employer was provided with, "Who'd you piss off to get in there?".