Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Basketball Prognostication at its Finest

"Here's what I think Kevin McHale will do: Wear an ugly sweater, back out of a KG deal at the last second and take Spencer Hawes at No. 7, followed by KG snapping in mid-December after a 30-point loss to the Spurs and killing everyone in Minnesota's locker room except Ricky Davis, who will calmly sit in front of his locker watching it happen while drinking a malt 40."- Bill Simmons

Ladies and Gentlemen, mark the date and time, because something truly historic happened today. This is one of the truest statements ever, and it completely sums up my reasoning in why a trade for Garnett isn't completely nuts; it's only Dave Chapelle flying away to South Africa to avoid a $50 Million contract, not Pacman Jones throwing tens of millions away over a few thou he gave away to Vegas strippers to make it rain, and subsequently wanting all that money back and biting a bouncer in the ankle to reacquire it. It's somewhat unlikely, but the odds of it happening are better than LindsLo, or whatever the hell she's nicknamed now, avoiding substances that go up your nose for more than three days.

I wouldn't be surprised if she's joined in rehab by Kevin McHale, who'll be in there to kick his eye-bleedingly bad sweater and mind numbingly bad roster move habits.

And get better LaVar.

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